Thursday, December 18, 2008

Healing

Hey Everyone!

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, life has been really crazy! I hope you had a great Thanksgiving! I will try to update more often now that life is slowing down a bit. Merry Christmas!



Something that has been bothering me is if you ever go up for prayer and you aren't healed people will say things that can honestly get you down. I went forward for prayer one time and obviously I wasn't healed and a lady told me the reason I wasn't healed was because I didn't have faith in God. Wrong! If I didn't have enough faith then, and I haven't been healed now how much faith do I have to have. I also have people say don't claim what you have. Well if I don't acknowledge that there is a need how can He meet it? Some people tell you to stop taking medicine. Some even say they don't need medicine because they already have been healed. If you have lets say asthma and you stop using your inhaler that could be a very bad thing. Let me explain something to you. God gave us medicine to help us not to hurt us. He designed it to help our bodies function better. Taking medicine is not a bad thing. Saying you have been healed is not a bad thing, but stopping what helps you breathe or live a normal everyday life, yeah that's bad.
Recently I went to youth convention and we talked about Jacob wrestling with the angel and how he gave him a new name. Then they gave us a chance to re-name ourselves to something like blessed or beautiful. We each got a name tag that had our new name. When I got ready to write my name I honestly didn't know what to put. But someone said that I should put healed and beautiful. I didn't swell for the rest of the trip and even when I got home I still wasn't swelling. I honestly thought God had healed me and I would be normal again. but within 20 minutes I started swelling. I can not fully explain the anger that I felt because I have never had a time where I truly believed that God had healed me. I got so angry at God because I thought it was my turn. Then it made me realize when will it be my turn. That Sunday we prayed for healing in like 10 peoples bodies. There I stood with my own need praying for other people to be healed. I forgot who was in control. I forgot to be patient for a healing. I forgot all of the things I had told people that read this blog. I told a friend of mine what I was going through and it was so weird because she told every thing I have written on here about. She doesn't even follow my blog. I am so amazed by God and the the ways he uses people to speak into your life.So to conclude my long story let me encourage you in this. Your going to get tired of going forward for prayer and not being healed. But sometimes you need that time in the alter. I have had God speak into my life when I was up there praying for a healing. Don't stop going up for prayer just because you think people will get tired of praying for you. They won't. Another thing is your going to get tired of not being the one who is healed. Your going to get tired of being the strong person who has to live with this everyday. Believe me, I get tired of being the kid that carries this on my shoulders. Being strong putting on a smiling face every time someone asks you how you are when really your knee is throbbing or your are swelling because the room is cold. It can get boring fast. Let me say it is okay to get tired. Let me say that again. IT IS OKAY TO GET TIRED. People will accept you for who you are and if sometimes you don't feel like being the best person that night it's okay. We all get tired, we all need a break every once in a while. It's called being a human. We can not run around like a super hero and not get tired. Sometimes people get tired of waiting for a healing. Please know that God does have a healing in store for you. Please know that God does have a healing for you no matter what. I know that whether I am healed on earth there is a healing waiting for me in Heaven. So I can say I am on my way to a healing because I am.

The other night I was reading my Bible when this verse pops into my head.

Genesis 8:8-12
8 Then he sent out a dove to see if the water had receded from the surface of the ground. 9 But the dove could find no place to set its feet because there was water over all the surface of the earth; so it returned to Noah in the ark. He reached out his hand and took the dove and brought it back to himself in the ark. 10 He waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. 11 When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth. 12 He waited seven more days and sent the dove out again, but this time it did not return to him.

I view people with illness as modern day Noah's. When I go forward for prayer its like I am sending out my own white dove to see if it can find normal healed ground. Noah didn't get it right away. It took several tries before the bird didn't come back. Praying for a healing is like this. He tried like 3 times, and they weren't back to back either. It was seven days before he tried again. He also waited 40 days and nights before he even started sending the dove out. We are like Noah as we are waiting for our day of dry ground when the bird does not return. When it will be safe to leave Doctor Ray behind and carry on my life without worry or fear.

Everyday is one step closer to healing! My day of dry ground is coming!

Brooke

Friday, October 24, 2008

Having Blood Taken

Yes having blood taken is not fun in any way. I once conquered the fear of it only because they took it all the time. But for a little while I didn't have any tests to run it seemed like I was the solved case that's now been reopened. I let that little fear creep back to its original place. Once that fear came back I realized I have to conquer it again. The way I realized it was the nurse stuck the needle in and held it at an angle that kept continuous pain shooting through my arm. But I would rather grin and bear it then make her readjust. She took 4-5 tubes of blood that day and my blood doesn't flow really fast, needless to say it felt like forever.

Sometimes its not the pain I feel its the fact some stranger is about to stick a needle into my arm and I don't even know them. Granted I wouldn't feel any better if my mom would do it. I just don't like the way blood is taken. But I have kind of over come that fear once more.

If you don't like having blood taken let me offer some advice. 1. Drink plenty of water the day before and the day of. This makes the veins swell up and easier to find. Which if your like me They never can find my veins, but water helps. 2. When they are taking the blood don't watch them I promise it makes it hurt worse. Some think if they watch they can prepare for the pain but honestly I make such a big deal about it the pain is small compared to what I prepared for. What I do is look away and try to focus on something other then the needle. Sometimes I look right at the nurse and tell her what I am learning in life and at school. Other times about church, maybe I throw in a little joke just to get some laughter. Laughter is the key to life use it when in pain and it doesn't hurt as much, I think.

I had and have to get over this fear and I will because I could be using my fear on something else more important like that monster under my bed.

If you have any fear of having blood taken. Let me assure you if you sit still, soon it will all be over. Count to 10, think good thoughts, and pray, then it will all be over. Remember if you get scared when having blood taken it doesn't make you any less of a man or woman we all get scared.

Brooke

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I Can Do It !!!!!!!

Most people who have a website about cold-urticaria do a post about the things they can't do. But instead I think of things that I can do.

I can be a writer, doctor, nurse, librarian, secretary, or a youth pastors wife. So what if I can't be an ice skater, a football coach (They dump the ice on them after each game.), diver, or the little dairy stockers. Many people dwell on things their disabilities take away. I personally never wanted to be an ice skater or a diver. I hate skating and all I can do is the doggy paddle. But its like if we know that's not an option any more we want it to be. Why? I honestly don't know why. I feel if God wants you to do that then that door will be opened. Or God could heal you and enable you to do that thing.


I hate it when we dwell on our down falls instead of what we could be doing with life. Look me in the eyes (figuratively speaking) when I say this: God gave you talents USE THEM. Are you? He did not make you to sit on the couch. He enabled you to sit on the couch ever so often, not forever. I see so many ungodly people not using their talents that it honestly makes me sad. Then I enter the church and there are more unused people. If you have a talent please use it. Some of us would say we don't have a talent. Wrong everyone has a talent you just have to recognize that you do. Then that is when you have to search for or better develop your talent.


So if I can do it you can too. I never would have dreamed I could write a blog, or a play, or a short story. But I did and if I did you can do something great too.


Please also note don't wake up one day and say "I shall play the guitar today!" it doesn't work I tried..........many times. If you don't play the guitar that's fine, maybe music isn't your talent. Tried writing? If your hand cramps don't get discouraged mine already is and I'm typing. Maybe your job is to be that cheerful face someone else sees. The person that's there when your friends are down. That's the best person to be, believe me I know I have many people there to pick me up when I'm falling.

The point is find what your good at and expand it. If you do what your made to do you will be a whole lot happier than if you were doing something else.


God has a purpose, I can do it, you can do it!


May God bless you this week!

Brooke


Philippians 4:13
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Medicine and Doctors

I really hate going to the doctor. I don't enjoy it but I go to the doctor because I want answers. I don't just go for the fun of it. Doctors take blood and poke you and turn you and shove you, believe it or not to help you. I am glad that I have doctors because if I didn't have them I would be some undiagnosed person almost an unidentified blob.

I also really hate taking medicine. Taking medicine everyday can be a real bother. It helps more than it hurts but its a bother just the same. I take 2 medicines everyday which is small compared to some people I know.

But God gave us doctors and God gave us medicine to help us not hurt us. If it wasn't for a doctor by now I probably would have jumped into a pool and have a serious injury. I take the time I have with my nurses and doctors and use it to tell them how God is moving through my life or what my church is doing. I get a lot of that time when they are trying to take my blood, before they get any taken I have almost every nurse in there trying to find my veins. What can I say if you tell them the latest thing that is happening in your youth group chances are they will start to talking. One time I decided to tell Mom and Dad something I had thought about at the same time nurses were there. We sing a song in youth called Hallelujah by Bethany Dillon. In the song it says Hallelujah, Hallelujah, whatever's in front of me help me to sing hallelujah. We sang that the week before all my problems started back. I shared how singing that song the week before I didn't know I would be here this week. And just as the song says I am still singing hallelujah and I am not getting down about instead I am picking myself up and carrying on. The nurses were a little bit shocked as were my parents that I had said that.

So if God gives you the time with the doctors, instead of being down and out try to be an encouragement. And remember we have doctors for good not bad. Medicine to help us be normal or as normal as we can be that day. God gave it to us as a helper not to be a hurt.

this week keep your chin up so you can't keep your head down.

B

Monday, September 15, 2008

Why Can't I Be Normal?

Sometimes when you have medical problems you wish just for a day you could be normal. We know we can't but we still wish we could. Other times you wish other people could live with it just for a day then see if they understand. Truth is, well at least for me, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Most of my friends say that God doesn't give hard things to weak people, but rather to strong people who He can trust. If that's true sometimes I wish I could be weak.

The problem I run into is people don't understand when I tell them my problem. They either look like I have a third eye or back away thinking I'm contagious. Other times they look like they understand or try to and really don't. I was talking to a friend of mine who goes through a lot of the same things I go through if not more. She said just for once she wishes she could be normal. It was then I realize what is normal for me? A good day is no knee pain or swelling. I have a few of those not often. But I think if I was normal for one day I wouldn't know what to do with myself. There is a book and a saying that goes all around the world that says "Normal is just a setting on your dryer" I kinda believe it. If normal doesn't exist then how can we have a normal day? God created each of us different in our own way so a normal day is different for everyone.

I hate that I'm not normal like everyone else. I wish some days I could get out of the van and leave my bulging purse that holds an epipen and blanket. Where I don't have to get out of the pool every five minutes. But God doesn't want me to be normal right now. I'm different because its my purpose. I'm glad I'm not normal it can't be as much fun.
I like being me but I wish you could understand fully. Not so you will feel sorry for me, but just to let you understand a day in the life off a weird person.

If you do deal with medical problems daily I encourage you keep your chin up some days are better than others. My favorite saying is "keep your chin up because then you can't put your head down." God has a purpose for it all.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Finding God's Purpose in any Situation

Sometimes when a situation comes up we drop everything and devote our life to solving the situation. Sometimes God just wants us to put the situation in His hands and say God you take control. God created it that way but the way God created it isn't the way we want it. God has a purpose for every situation we go through.

Which brings me to my point if you have to go through a situation or in my case an illness how do you let God take control?
Because He does have a purpose for it we have to sit back and let God so to speak do His thing. Instead of trying to solve the situation lets try to find God in it. God is moving through my life with this situation how?
God uses me everyday as a witness. Because people see me in the mall with a jacket on and they ask if I am cold. That opens the door to talk about what I have and how God is moving through my life. and how through it all I still have to have faith. God's purpose for this situation is I am a living breathing testimony. I don't understand why I have it, but I know God has a reason and thats good enough for me.
The time you spend in the situation should be a time of prayer and faith in God rather than spent worrying and being restless.
Romans 8:28 says
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.

I live knowing that the Bible says God has a purpose for me and what happens today was His purpose for my life. If my knees swell up then I take it slow thats His purpose for today. If I am in great health then I do have an active day today. I ask God everyday to use me in any way for His benefit, let that be my goal: To please Him.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

How to live with an Illness

How do you live with an illness and still be yourself?
Its hard. First you have to get over the shock . Its like waking up one day normal and weird the next.
How did I attack the major new bump in the road? By taking one day at a time. It was hard to adjust to who I am today. I sat around wondering what to do know that my life had been shattered. I thought all the goals I had could never be accomplished. And some of them I really can't. I sat around wondering why God did this to me? Why was I the weird kid? Why couldn't it have been my sister? Because the process of finding out what I had took so long I had time to think about it. But it wasn't until I found out what I had I that I began to deal with it. It was very hard finding answers to my questions but I found them. I slowly began to realize God allowed me to have this for a reason. What reason I don't know, maybe I'm suppose to help other kids cope with finding out they have something major.

One thing to remember is don't plan that for the rest of your life all you can do is sit on the couch and eat potato chips. But rather take it slow at least in the beginning. Figure out what you can do and can't do.
For example I can't go diving into a pool but I can get in slowly. Don't sit on the couch all day moping around because your the one dealing with it. Stay active. For example maybe your on the football team and what illness you have makes it where you can't do a lot of running. Don't give up football right away talk to your doctor and your coach to see what they can do. You still can do things you just have to limit how long you do them.

The best thing you can do is get a support group. I have at least 3. (1) A local community theatre (2) My family (3) My Church. A school group is great but you're limited on time. Your family is perfect because they are always there. And a church is wonderful because you know someone is always praying for you.
A church can really lift you up. For one thing if you are going to a church then make sure you have an Incredible youth pastor or pastor. I am blessed, I have both. My youth ministry is always there for me. I can call anyone and have the youth ministry praying for me in an instant.
The whole thing is find people who are encouraging to you and can lift you up.

My Story

Hi I am Brooke and here is my story.

In December 2005 I was ten years old. I was sitting at home and my hands and feet turned bright red and began to swell up and itch. I also had a butterfly rash across my face. I made the mistake of putting on the blue cooling gel you use with sunburns. Key word there cooling I began to swell worse as the day drew on. My parents came home to see me sitting on the couch looking like a swollen red balloon.
My parents took me to the Dr and the Dr said this looks like Lupus to me because of the 'BUTTERFLY RASH".
I took some Benadryl and went right on to the church Christmas party. It was great until the Benadryl wore off and I started swelling up again. All the kids at the party began to look worried as my face swelled up and turned bright red. I scratched at my face and it made it worse. The next day mom and dad took me to the doctor and had blood taken. The test results came back and there wasn't anything unusual about it. The swelling seemed to go away for a while, but later came back. I went back in for more testing. This time the DR found something that made her think I had a tumor in my kidney. I was sent over to the hospital for tests. Dad was at home because we were having our roof repaired from Hurricane Katrina. That day I learned about what an ultrasound is and I started to think about maybe having a career in that field. My kidneys checked out fine.
I was sent to a pediatric rheumatologist who sent me to an allergist. In June 2007 the allergist diagnosed me with Cold Urticaria. Problem solved right? No. In May of this year I was standing eating lunch and my legs began to turn a dark shade of purple and my knees swelled up.
I began the blood tests again and I went back to see the rheumatologist and so far they put me on a baby aspirin a day. We are still looking for an answer as to what this is. Everything takes time and fortunately time is what we have.
Cold Urticaria, a fancy name for saying allergic to cold temperatures, is very rare. It can be a symptom of other things like RAYNAULDS. When a person has this, they have to be careful when inside a really cold building or even eating too much ice.
The purple legs that I get some days is Livedo Riticularis and is not all serious, but the baby aspirin helps control it.
I return to my Dr in Dec. I know God has a reason for all of this. I am thankful to have great friends who do not laugh at me when I have to be bundles up in a blanket in the middle of July, or when I wear gloves in the summertime to keep my hands warm.

Welcome

Hello,
My name is Brooke and I hope you enjoy reading my blog.